There is a difference between the two.
Sex is only what is between the legs. No more. No less. Gender has more to do with the person as a whole. It is not only the attitude and the mind of the person, but it is also secondary sexual characteristics(such as breasts). The body as a whole as well as the mind.
Take me. I look like a woman. I talk like a woman. I think like a woman. I expect to be, and enjoy being, treated as a woman. My head's always been wired up female. I am female in every way that matters. I am a woman now. I just happen to have the wrong thing jammed between my legs. Female in mind and body. Just with something extra.
Consider it like this. You have a being that is indistinguishable from a woman in every aspect except one. This being thinks, talks, walks, and looks like a woman. You'd call this being a woman, right? That would be the appropriate way to treat this being. You don't have to find her sexually appealing, but it is a woman.
It's something I still struggle with from time to time. I have no intention of undergoing sex reassignment surgery. The satisfaction I would gain doesn't outweigh the risks. There is every chance I would end up with nothing at all for the pain and expense. I don't hate my own dick so much that I would risk ending up with one non functioning hole. Worse things could happen too, and I can't reverse the decision. I look like a woman, and I am treated like one. Those are my two greatest desires. Having a hole to stick things in is low on the list of priorities. In the end that is all it is. A hole to cram things in. It isn't the be all or end all of womanhood. It's the least important thing.
Still, there are those that do not like my lifestyle, and even those in the trans community itself, that would use this fact to denounce any right I have to being treated in the way that I want and rip my claim to womanhood from my grasp. The first group I can understand. They don't like it.. or it scares them. They'll use any excuse they can find to call me wrong. The ones I really don't get though.. the ones I don't get are the trans elite. The ones that undergo SRS and do an about face and denounce anyone that doesn't do the exactly what they did. You aren't really a woman unless you have some random hole in your body. I don't get them. I won't say all do this.. or even most.. but they are there. I can ignore the folks that just refuse to learn about things and instead shun anything different. We all have to deal with that type in life, but that is just.. a betrayal. It hurts coming from anyone, but that hurts more.
Then there are those that say I can't give birth. That is what makes a vagina so important to womanhood. The ability to give birth. Even surgery can't give me that. Oh really? Is that the be all end all? There are many women unable to give birth for one reason or another, and many that choose not to. Does this make any of them men..? Does it make them lesser women? Of course not.
Yeah, my sex is male, but my gender is female. I am a woman. You don't have to like my choice. You don't have to find the prospect of a girl with a dick sexually exciting, but I am a woman. All I ask is to be treated as one.
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5 comments:
Sorry for commenting so much, but this is really excellent writing; and some good insight into things I myself deal with at times.
I too have, I think I told you, at times questioned if I was meant to be male. For me, the way I was brought up, the way to even THINK about being able to take hold of my own destiny was... well it wasn't possible. It wasn't allowed.
For me, its too late now; even if I was totally 100% certain that I'd live better as a woman (and I'm not certain of that at all as I bounce back and forth), I'm doubtful I'd be able to make the transition.
MK, I know this is gonna sound odd; but have you ever considered at some point that perhaps you might want to write an autobiography? You've got a better knack for writing than you may be aware of; and I think your experiences and insights might be of help to others.
Just a thought; I'm definitely going to try to keep following this blog.
Well, that is part of why I write this. Maybe it will reach someone, but I am not sure how to get this out to people that it might help.
Also, transitioning isn't for everyone. For me it was the right choice. I couldn't get myself to do anything as a boy. I didn't want relationships as a guy. I didn't want to succeed as one.
lol wang
(I promised!)
Woo!
you know i enjoy reading this but there is one thing that bothers me. a vagina isent just a hole its allot more then that. i kind of felt put down. your right there r allot of girls that cant give birth but they still have a uterus an they still have the hormones an they still have what they need to have a child. an its the window of life its the window of pleasure,an love. im not saying u dont have these things or that u cant cause u have a different body part im just saying a vagina is an amazing thing but so is a pines. its all so the part of u that brings life an makes love,an pleasure. so how cares what others think im glad u dont want to cut it off. it barbaric. u are great the way u are. it most be hard to feel so strongly as one thing but ur body tell u ur something eals. or should i say the world tell u ur something eals. i wish i had some advice for u but i dont lol one thing i would like to say is be true to your self no matter what.
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